This is James (8) in a mood. He has had moods in the past and they never completely went away but they have gotten worse lately.
When Jennifer gets in a mood she will usually ask for a little time alone so she can pray. She comes out happy and hugs me glad to be done with those feelings.
Saturday after the visit she was fine till bedtime. Scott and I had gone shopping but I called to check on them. It was almost 9:30 and the kids were still up. Jessica told Jennifer to go brush her teeth and get ready for bed, and Jennifer started crying. It turned into a full out screaming fit and Heather had to take over. The next morning Jennifer told me her throat hurt. I said it was probably because of all the screaming she did. She looked down, I asked her why she did that. She said she didn't know. Then she asked me if I thought she should take naps for the whole month of February? and that she thought she should. I told her that she would be taking one that day but I thought she had learned a lot. She curled up in my lap and we hugged for a long time. She has come so far, I am so proud of her progress and happy for her.
James? I am still working on it. He loves the wii and the computer and he hates to take naps but nothing I say can get him out of these moods until a consequence has already been assigned. Saturday morning he was in a mood and he had to go to bed early. Then I heard from all of the other kids that while he was with his other Mom he was worse. The other kids including Jennifer tried to talk to him but it just got worse. They said he was really mean to his Mom because she wouldn't buy him toys.
I asked him how he would feel if someone acted like that to him. Of course he said sad. He got to take a nap on Sunday and go to bed early for his day of behavior.
I reminded him that the rules of kindness and respect weren't our rules but Heavenly Fathers and that he takes those rules with him everywhere at school, church and on visits. For the first time in years he had to be taken out of Sacrament those of you who are shocked brace yourselves, it was Scott who took him out.
I think he his testing his boundaries to be sure he is well within them? We will enforce the rules consistently and spend more time one on one. We will spend more time reading together, he loves that and maybe he can help me a little more.
He is a very special boy and I love him so much. I hate to see him struggle so much.
4 comments:
I really appreciate it when you post these stories of motherhood. You give wonderful ideas and insights on what to do in situations with upset or misbehaving children. Thank you for posting this stuff! Reading these helps me to be a better mom.
Thank you. That really means a lot to me. I am glad it helps you too.
How old are your kids??? Dejah is 4 1/2 and has been DONE with naps for a Year at least! Mycah is turning 2 and can go without, but its not so good without.
The ones who have naps as a consequence are 10, 8, and 7.
My three year old gets up at 10 am so she doesn't take naps either.
They don't sleep when I put them down for naps but that just gives them more time to think. They do hate it and usually the threat of having to take a nap will revise their behavior but I do follow through if it doesn't change.
I don't like to spank and it is really hard when the children aren't "yours" you have to be really careful.
I believe we (parents) need quiet time so even when they get older they have a time during the day when they can read or watch a movie. Something they can do that they won't be fighting or making messes.
The weekend isn't a big deal but summer time is too long without some Mommy time.
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